She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
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