its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize