if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
