Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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