he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
God I need to hump something, right now.
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