i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
