I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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