Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize