God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
