i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
