I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize