:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
