im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
