Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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