why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
NoShamevember. You game?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize