shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Is it because I queefed?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
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