I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
