I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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