sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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