after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
