I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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