Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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