YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
