i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
