I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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