whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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