no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
