ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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