Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Your face is a jimmy john
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
