so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
