is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
