I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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