I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Randomize
