I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
