Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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