i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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