he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize