doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
