you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
