a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
