It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
