my mouth tastes like poor choices
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
