I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
