Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
