You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
