The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
