His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
