There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize