We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
