Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
