oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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