this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Can't talk, ducks in the car
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
