Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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