Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
