are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
