Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
