hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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