I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
You can't motorboat a personality
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
