Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
