Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
