i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
