HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
