Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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