went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
