Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize