Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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