the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Ketchup is God's man juice
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
