my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Randomize
